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Updates & Changes

So I’ve decided I’m going to actually use this blog. I’ve been silent from my English class, and quite honestly the world, for a long time now and I realise even in the most depressing of times isolation is not good. Isolation is not good for anyone mentally unstable.

I’m going to use this blogging site for multiple things. I wish to upload all of my paranormal investigation stories up here. I also want to have things pertaining to Christianity and LGBTQ+, two things I am apart of and mean a bit to me.

I also will use this as a rant blog. I suffer from multiple mental illnesses, many that delay my academic and life progress greatly. I am an incredible actor. I have been able to play a very sane person for a long time. Now, I realise I’m not as sane as I try to convince myself.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depression, PTSD from parental emotional and (rare) physical abuse, ADD, and Insomnia. I have learned over the years to conquer these issues, but even still I fall back.

I disappeared this past month because I lost a friend to suicide. We weren’t super close, but once it hit me that she was gone, by her own hand, purposely, all emotional stability and strength left me. I’m receiving double the counseling, but even still I’ve just been suffering emotionally and physically. You don’t really realise what you have until it’s gone.

I want to keep living, though sometimes my mind says otherwise, I want to keep going, but with everything that ever goes wrong, it’s a challenge. And I can never speak what’s really on my mind because of years of emotional damage and self isolation.

This blog is now my blog of life. I’ll have fun things, but it’s mainly going to be of self help. There will probably be things that are triggering, as my life has been in no way easy. This is also something my counselor is making me do, so I really don’t have a choice. But I’m hoping writing about things makes life easier at any degree at all. She thinks so at least. This is also something to help me when I get into an isolation mood. When I stop going to classes, stay hidden in my room, only go outside for essentials, and tell everyone I’m busy so I don’t have to deal with Human interaction at all. apparently my time of isolating myself has to come to an end, and this is a start. I don’t like it, but oh well. At least I like writing most of the time.

I hope this helps myself and I hope I don’t sound like I’m complaining. Again, I have to do this for my own mental purposes (Also Beth says so, so I better at least try it). and it’s not that I don’t like people, sometimes people just become too much for me to handle or life just makes me anti social. No offense to any humans, I blame my parents and other components beyond my control.

{Originally Posted from 1st blog: May 3rd, 2017; Post is copy pasted, left untouched in the transference between blogs}

 

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