Mental Health, Music Monday

Living Life By Music

(A warning: This post contains some talk about depression and suicidal thoughts)

I was hit by a bit of inspiration and have decided to start a new thing. I’m thinking: Music Monday. I know, how original. Every Monday I do a song lyric analysis or deep music study of whatever song I’m feeling for the Monday, or maybe do an album or a video game original soundtrack review. Whatever the subject may be, it will be music.

Why is music a big deal? The answer is different for each person you ask. People use music for different reasons, and for those reasons comes a certain music. There are genres within genres of music around the globe, and like with everything else with life, people have preferences. Everyone has a reason to like or dislike a genre, or artist, or group, or project. There’s also reasons for loving.

I had influences of metal in my life, hearing the songs on the radio here and there. It was the age of 14 when metal really began taking over my life. In a good way, of course. I discovered the progressive symphonic power metal band Kamelot while watching amine AMVs. The sound I heard in that one song by this one band was so powerful to me. I saved the youtube video of the anime montage just so I could hear that song again. After getting my own Spotify account, I found that same band to hear more of their songs. Then all of their songs. Then the songs of related bands. I guess I really went down the metal rabbit hole for a while. Back in my baby metalhead phase I called it all metal, as many do. Now I can list you several bands from 20 plus metal subgenres. Along with the fascination with metal, I’ve also been drawn to the study of the Nordic countries, since those few countries make a great amount of metal music for the world.

Why is it that particular genre such a big deal for me? It gets heavier than the metal in my case. High school wasn’t a great time for me. My family exploded into a constant drama war that I had to listen to all four years, and even still hear about today. I tried to follow the “Gifted Kid” path and take all AP and college credit classes, only to overstress and ruin myself, mentally and physically. There was also me questioning my sexual orientation and religious affiliation, only to feel guilty and evil for ever considering myself something my family would disapprove of. It wasn’t all bad, but there was enough to make me wish to forget those four years ever happened. Metal music was one of my saviours for that time. I used Kamelot and related bands to keep the peace in my mind when I absolutely wanted to lose it all. I could go as far as to say that it was this metal that has kept me on the surface of this world for so long when I otherwise didn’t want to be.

Many metal heads will give you a few subgenres that they love the best out of the vast sea of metal subgenres. My main three are Power, Symphonic, and Progressive. Those three can honestly go together so well, overlap even, like Kamelot, the band that started it all for me. The power from the metal and the orchestra with solid vocals makes for amazing songs that I want to keep hearing. The lyrics of metal are ones I want to remember. It is impossible to describe how powerful this type of music is to me, to my emotional and mental health, to my physical health. And this was only about metal music. There’s more to say rock and metal of the Emo Era, like My Chemical Romance, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Blink-182, etc. There’s even more to say about video game and movie scores. Music is a daily part of my life. I often say I am addicted to music, I always have music in my head and I start to go crazy if I haven’t listened to something in a few hours. My everyday activities go along to the beat of whatever song first comes to mind.

Since music is a major part of my life, I will simply put my love and need of it into words, since that’s the only way I can ever communicate anything. I only want to share how I see music and hope other’s can enjoy it too. Plus, analysing music is a self care activity for me, and the promotion of self care is something we all need more of today. Music is a necessity, a lifesaver, and my anchor to the world when things are at their absolute worst. The right song or piece will bring you out of reality and bring you back feeling just a bit better. May the days and nights be musical, and Blessed Be.

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